Monday, August 27, 2007

Quite possibly the WORST fast food experience I’ve ever had!

Shot, Debonairs (Newlands) for a totally kak pizza experience.
Here’s how it went down…
I stayed home from work on Wednesday with a busted up back, - not from having any kinky sex or anything like that (sadly!), but from reaching around in my car for something and over extending a muscle and some joints. I’ve been trying to nurse myself back to health for almost 3 weeks now, but somehow the pain has been getting progressively worse. Also my idea of nursing myself back to health, is swallowing as many painkillers as I can get my get my hands on during the day, working out like a demon 4 times a week, and then passing out in the weirdest sleeping position ever to aggravate the already strained part of my body. Rest and physio didn’t feature until yesterday when I eventually couldn’t take the pain anymore. (What can I say? I can’t tolerate weakness! Especially my own…)
My mom and dad were on leave yesterday, so when I woke in desperate need of some "comfort food" (read: melted cheese) I decided to treat us all to some pizza from the nearest pizza place, Debonairs in Newlands. Somehow “comedy of errors” doesn’t quite sum it up, because it was sadly more infuriating than funny.
First I call to place the order and get their order guy happens to have the thickest, strangest accent ever! He had to say everything at least 3 times for me to know what he was trying to ask/communicate. THEN they took almost an hour to get there, by which time my hungry father had gone from waiting in the kitchen, to waiting on the veranda, to waiting on the driveway, to standing in the street with his arms folded and a fist full of cash, fuming and vowing not to tip the delivery guy. THEN the pizzas finally get there and the one hasn’t been sliced. We don’t have a pizza cutter, and trying to slice a molten-lava hot pizza with a blunt knife is impossible, even more so where you’re already starving. Our pizza looked like we’d stuck a bomb in it by the time my mom was finished. THEN we discover that they’ve started using some cheap mozzarella that, no matter how hard/long you chew retains one rubbery solid shape, so that – in order to actually get it down your throat – you have to swallow it whole! THEN the final straw came when my mom bit into an olive pip, feeling like she’d cracked her own pip in two from the sheer jarring force of it all!
It goes without saying that we won’t be supporting those guys anymore. Not just the Newlands store, but the entire franchise can bugger off! As processed as their pizzas were, I kinda enjoyed Debonairs back in the day, but boy have their quality control levels dropped!
Mom and I felt quite queasy later in the day too… Shiver! The thought of that rubbery “mozzarella” makes me sick.

UPDATE: My brother, not knowing about this incident, decided to treat us to pizza from Debonairs just this weekend. I'm not sure which branch it was from, but it definitely wasn't from the one in Newlands and it was MUCH MUCH better... If inconsistency is their big problem all I can say is that they've pretty much lost me as a customer. How do you know which branch to support? Pfft!


Willem Smit said...

quite kakkie, the day you choose to spoil the folks turns out to be a rubbery mess on the memory hmmm.. debonairs...thought they be on the ball all the way sinorita! well well..choose wisely on special days hahah :p

Carmen Gabriel said...

It's so kak when you're craving something naughty and it turns out to be terrible... ARGH!