Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I think I might have to agree...

A friend of mine sent me this spoof cover of the Twilight books the other day, after hearing be bitch and moan and whine about how I can't wait to get to the end of the series... Not because I'm dying to know what happens, but really because I'm dying to get them out the way so I can read something worthwhile.
Apart from book four, Breaking Dawn, which was given to me by my prison bitch, Gail, I have to say that I was bored to TEARS by the rest of the books. At least some stuff HAPPENS in book four! Nothing happens in the others. I can't remember where I heard someone say that this is officially the series about nothing! And I have to agree. It's like the Seinfeld of books. (That Seinfeld thing was my addition.)
I don't know if Gail knew that she as giving me the best one in the series, but thank goodness she did! It has partially restored my faith in humanity.
But as for those Twi-hards who carry worn copies around with them in their handbags, and for all my friends and book clubbers who have pledged their undying/undead love for the series, I say: I have lost all respect for you as a reader / intellectual / book lover / critic. And to the masses who've made this series the pop culture phenomenon that it is, I say: Bugger off! You're retarded. Get out my face with your mouth-breathing stupidity.
Harsh? Yes. The world needs to hear the truth.

Monday, February 22, 2010

It's SO GOOD to be loved!

Yesterday, after a long, hot day of ups and downs, it was like Little Astin was reading my mind and knew instinctively that I was in need of some care.
When I pulled up into the driveway, I saw her out the corner of my eye RACING off into the house to fetch the little gift she'd made for me...
The cover, complete with silver, sparkly stars:

And a beautiful message inside:

I had fortunately been saving 2 little heart-shaped chocolates for her since Valentine's Day, and handed them over in exchange. Beena thanked her by hissing and yowling and dashing under the bed... *sigh*
That cat really is "wered" (weird).

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Looking back...

As my parents and I tucked into our fancy seafood dinner at my place last night, I pulled out some old pictures and came across these. After my letter to my gran yesterday, I thought I should share them, so you could see for yourself what an amazing lady she was. Here I am at ±1 year old with my dad's parents, my Grandpa Joe and Grandma Rosa Gabriel...

And just because I can... Here I am with my mom on my first birthday. Don't be deceived by the frilly dress and crocheted socks. I apparently kicked my butterfly birthday cake on the day, and proceeded to sit on the table and lick the icing off my shoes. There are also a few pics of my mom laughing and holding her hand over my mouth. I think I might have dropped a swear word or two just for good measure. Ghetto!

"Pancakes can go f@*& themselves" - An open letter to my late grandmother...

Dear Ma...
When I realised this weekend that tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and the start of Lent, of course the first person I thought of was you, and of course (again), the STACK of pancakes you would make for all the grandchildren on Shrove Tuesday, or Pancake Tuesday. God alone knows how you kept your cool while making like, a hundred pancakes or something, seeing as there was a million of us rugrats to feed. Bless you, Ma.
And seeing as I'm officially A Traditional Old Fart, I decided to keep the tradition alive and make a stack of pancakes for my family-away-from-home, The People At The Office.
Well, Ma... I'm sure you had a good chuckle watching me from heaven, as I went through THREE different frying pans, trying to find one that wouldn't stick. I'm pretty sure you giggled at the clump of stodgy dough I scraped out of the first 2 and had to chuck in the bin. I'm fairly confident that you were rolling on the floor with laughter, when I put a tiny piece of pancake on the kitchen floor for Beena The Cat to turn her nose up at, and then stepped in it, and smooshed it all over my kitchen floor, after paying my cleaning lady to do a good clean up just yesterday.
To the pan.
Why, Ma?! WHY????
I followed the instructions. To the letter! But still, it was a nightmare.
You can see from the pic, I managed to get ±30 lacy pancakes out of the giant bowl of batter, but only through the mercy of God.
Ma? Unless you manage to whisper in the ear of mom/dad/Brendan/Donovan to buy me one of those fancy non-stick Bauer pans, I have to say that this is the last time I put myself through this...
Please forgive the swear word in the title of this letter, but I was really cross when I wrote it.
Say HI to Grandpa for me?
Love always,
PS. You're a legend!

Monday, February 15, 2010

What is it with little girls and shells?

I spent yesterday wishing I was in a air-conditioned fancy restaurant sipping on expensive champagne. Instead I was getting my skin fried off at the beach, taking my little cousins on long walks to look for shells to make crappy necklaces out of.
Okay... I'll admit it. It was awesome and I loved every humid / blazing / blinding / sweaty / sandy / salty / burny minute of it...

Happy Chinese New Year for yesterday!

Hey, folks!
In case you missed it yesterday, 14 Feb 2010, apart from being a particularly heinous day for singeltons everywhere, was also Chinese New Year... YAY!
And to make things even more exciting, it turns out that this Chinese lunar year, is The Year of the Tiger... THAT'S ME! So this year is officially my year, and in preparation I checked out a forecast of the year ahead and what I should be expecting. Here's my interesting "some-good-some-bad" Tiger forecast for 2010:

Your year has arrived, and you are likely to find it more comfortable than most. That does not mean, however, it will be more successful. This could be a case of too much of a good thing. Yes, you are lucky. Yes, you enjoy taking a risk. You can bet the year's ambiance will encourage extremes even beyond your natural inclinations. In other words, you are vulnerable to suffer from overdoing it, from living on the edge and falling off it. You are going to have a few splendid successes in 2010. On the other hand, do not be surprised if your failures are even more spectacular. Self control wins the day.
Tiger's natural leadership and charisma are enhanced this year, and you may find your ideas and initiatives get more traction than usual. It feels great to be listened to and treated like the boss. The only downside could come if you let this deference go to your head and fail to seek out others' expertise and experiential wisdom. Coworkers are not likely to reign you in, so you need to be extra vigilant to make wise, considered decisions and go out of your way to consult with respected peers and mentors. This year will present opportunities of your wildest imaginings, but you will need abundant self-discipline in order to make them realities. Success is within your reach, but beware of pride and overconfidence; it is not a foregone conclusion.
Personal relationships are likely to be Tiger's strongest suit this year. Your active and rewarding social agenda could be the envy of most others; expect to have fun in 2010. But even this pales in light of your prospects for love. Romantic passion is likely to be at its highest mid-year, which is also a very lucky time for a Tiger to marry. Domesticity could hold much of your attention this year. You may get special satisfaction in 2010 from time spent on homefront matters and family relationships. If you are single, important friendships should develop pleasingly over the course of the year and become a central focus of your life. In the spring you could meet someone who will play a key role in your life, possibly as part of a celebratory event.
Tigers could suffer the effects of exhaustion this year without even realizing they have overexerted themelves. It is in your best interest to take extra precautions to ensure you get enough sleep, and to practice healthful exercise and good nutrition habits to allow your body to recover from overindulgences, of which there may be many. Intensity and high stakes in almost every area of your life make you feel alive, but place stress on your overall health, something with which you may have to cope later. Let 2010 be the year you learn to love green foods. If you have experienced mental setbacks in recent years, you should benefit psychologically from new beginnings now.
This year is likely to bring an increase in the Tiger's wealth. Money could flow from unanticipated sources, and income is likely to increase. You will be best served financially by setting aside windfalls as savings. The temptation and, possibly, social pressure to consume your new profits could be strong. However, it would be a mistake to assume money will be here to stay. Maximixe your financial opportunities, but don't lose your head. Consider making large purchases at a discount and hunt for bargains, even if you can afford retail markups. Wisely shore up your position for the long term.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

So freakin' yummy I had to blog it: Breakfast 11.02.2010

Super soft, just-set scrambled eggs, with herby feta cheese and chopped parsley just picked from my garden...
That's what was on the menu at Chez Carmen this morning. So simple, yet so delicious. In fact, I'd go so far as to call it sublime.
I think I might have the same tomorrow. YUM!